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When will I be good enough is the question that i ask myself a lot lately. As much as i appear to be strong and cold and bold, focused and unbothered but duh i do cry myself to sleep every night with the thoughts of when will i ever be good enough. These days i tend to push people away from me and only god knows how my loneliness is killing me every single day with having absolutely no one to talk to, no shoulders to cry on, no one to ajak makan, no one to laugh with or should i say the one that actually care and not just someone who are there just because you tell them to. Lately my hormones have been playing around making me feel sick and emotional most of the damn time and with me being a lonely ass is just a disaster. Ive been sleep deprived, losing appetite to eat and the list goes on and on. It is 2 am in the morning now and i have no absolute idea why am i still awake. Well I am really hoping that this is just a phase that i have to face and not a never ending phase that i have to deal with forever because it makes me feel tired for all the emotional resonance that is happening

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