Salmah Luth J

Numb. Best describe what am i feeling every single day. i feel everything so very deeply that it makes me mad that i dont know how to describe it into words. its like youre looking at the sky and people ask you to describe the colour of the sky. the sky is not white, and its not even blue. it is a mixture of colour that makes it beautiful, just the way it is.  Farahafiqah being farahafiqah. She feels everything and by everything it truly means every single thing. But she doesnt talk much simply because she thinks that its pointless. I fancy spilling my feelings into writing and those who wants to know it can read it here. Sometimes i go far into my head that i forget anything else exists which explain why sometimes i choose to be in a total silence, shutting everything that makes noise. only god knows how much i hate it when people talk too much. i feel like wanna vomit. this aint metaphor but its the truth.

As a woman in this day and age Im in position to ask a man what can they do that I cant for my self. Like for example, I can pay my own bills, buy my own food, go to places that I wanna go and etc etc. I dont know if I am like over demanding but still I need something more.  I need someone who is striving for excellence in every aspect of their life. Someone who is striving for excellence mentally,spiritually, because I need mature conversation and mental stimulation. I hate dealing with stupid things and I cant imagine if I have to deal with a stupid people because it is a recipe for disaster for me. I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman but strong enough to keep me grounded, to lift me up. Lies and game playing are not my idea of a strong man. I have no time at all to listen to lies or playing some kind of childish relationship. I want someone that can be the leader, priest and provider and of course I want someone that  I can r...

As for me, love costs. It takes effort, it takes work. or should i say that it takes everything that mend to be take? Nobody has ever teach me how to love and be loved as it comes naturally.  I love my parents without them asking me to love them. I love my siblings without them forcing me to do so. I love them on a daily basis and nobody has the power to change my love towards them My love for them is eternal. Somehow I wonder how can that happened? Like how can I love them that much without them telling and begging me to do so? Day after day, I realized that I honestly dont need a reason to love them They loved me when  I couldnt even love myself. They love every single piece of me without me knowing. They would go through hell to make me happy. When Im with them, I dont need their validation to know my worth. They make me feel like Im worth it without me having to validate it. They love me with every beat of their heart.